Acquiring feedback from others is a great way to discover new things about yourself that you were not aware of. It can also be a great way to get a different perspective on something that perhaps you would not have thought of. The problem with criticism is that most people interpret it as a personal attack. Why is this?
Well, usually it has to do with a number of different factors some of which include how you were raised or how you were taught to view criticism early on in your life. If you grew up in a household where you were constantly belittled or you witnessed the manner in which your role models responded to criticism, this could have something to do with why a lot of people are sensitive to criticism. So how can you learn to deal with criticism in a positive way? Here are a few tips:
1Consider the Source
First, you should take a close look at the person who is doing the criticizing and ask yourself a few things. Are they constantly complaining or criticizing others? Are they positive in general? Do you respect their opinion? Is their opinion respected by others? How much do they know about what they are criticizing?
These are some of the questions you should use to take inventory of the source that is criticizing you. Perhaps they could also be criticizing you because they are jealous of abilities you have and they don’t. Did you ever consider that?
On the other hand, if the person is genuinely offering constructive criticism you will often hear something like, “I like what you did here but can we make improvements here?” They will also usually back it up with justification as to why they think it should be done that way.
2Keep an Open Mind
Although you may be good at what you do or mean well with your actions, no one is perfect. Keep an open mind and listen to the thoughts of others and consider their point of view. You can learn a lot when you close your mouth and open your ears and you may even discover new ways of doing things that you never thought were possible. Open-mindedness also goes a long way when it comes to how comfortable people feel about approaching you with constructive criticism. If you are open to their point of view they will be more likely to keep an open line of communication instead of grumbling about it behind your back.
3Don’t Take It Personally
Although we all know this is easier said than done, it is important not to take criticism as an attack on your personal character. If you maintain a positive self image and self esteem you can weather any kind of criticism there is. There is a lot to be said for emotional intelligence and it can take you a long way when you deal with the negative aspects of living your life, one of which is criticism.
4Get in Touch with Your Own Limitations
We all have shortcomings and limitations and it is just a matter of whether we choose to admit it to ourselves or pretend like it doesn’t exist. Learn to identify where your limitations lie and concentrate on your strengths and use them to your advantage. When someone criticizes something you do, ask yourself if it is within the limitation you identified. If so, take the criticism and learn what you can from it and use it to make improvements.
5Develop Self Confidence
People who are usually sensitive to criticism lack faith in their own ability. Although they may not show it on the outside it is most likely what they are thinking on the inside. Learn to develop self confidence and faith in yourself as a person and in your abilities. If you are confident you can learn from anyone just by listening to what they have to say. This does not mean that you must accept what they say, and criticism is not a threat if you believe in yourself and your abilities.
6Learn to Weather the Mean-Spirited People
Let’s face it. Not all criticism is constructive and everywhere you go you will come across people who are just plain mean-spirited and get their kicks from tearing everyone else down in an effort to make themselves feel better. The problem is that they never feel better inside; they just keep trying to feel better while leaving a lot of people miserable in the process. If they put as much effort into being more open to others as they do trying to uplift their low self image they would find the world would smile back at them.
If you know this about people who are mean-spirited the problem is with them and not you. They have some personal issues they are personally responsible to resolve and which they are not facing, so they are taking it out on you by constantly criticizing. Simply accept what you cannot change and move on and move away from them if you can.
If they are in the workplace it may require you to confront them, request a transfer, or a meeting with your supervisor. If the issue goes unresolved you may need to look for new employment. While this may seem to be the extreme, mean-spirited people can become toxic regardless of how you look at it. Accept the fact that they are unable to make a change, feel sorry for them, and surround yourself with positive people that enhance your life and offer constructive criticism.
