When you need advice on something it can be difficult to know where you can turn for good and trustworthy advice. If it is a personal matter, it can be even more difficult because you have to be able to trust the person you confide in. Unfortunately, there are people who will take advantage of you when you ask them for advice; others that see their opinion as the only way to do things; and people that will be judgmental of you.
So where do you go to seek good advice and whom can you trust? Well, here are a few tips that will help you along the way:
1Identify the Issue
Where you go to seek advice is going to depend upon the type of problem you are trying to solve. For example, if it is a financial issue then you should do your homework and find a good professional with a reliable track record for helping people with specific financial issues. If it is a personal issue, you can choose to consult with a professional psychologist or psychiatrist or you can simply choose someone that you trust.
Choosing a professional to help you with an issue requires doing some research on their credentials and their past track record of helping people. If you choose a professional you can be assured your information will be kept confidential. It also must be someone you feel comfortable with who takes a genuine interest in helping you solve your problem.
If you choose to seek advice from a friend or acquaintance about an issue you are having, then there are other things you should look for before you ask for advice. Let’s talk about some of these topics:
2The Internet
The Internet can be a great communications tool however it also has its drawbacks. If you seek advice on the Internet how do you know that person is who they say they are? You don’t. There are a lot of people who take advantage of the Internet and its anonymity so you have to be cautious. If you ask in a forum you are safer in a forum that is moderated than unmoderated; however, you still don’t know who is hiding behind their words. So let’s take a look at some of the things you should look for when you ask someone for advice in person.
3Do You Respect Their Judgment?
If it is someone you know, observe their behavior carefully and some of the decisions they make in their own life. Do you respect their judgment and the outcome of the decisions they make? Do they genuinely help others without an underlying motive?
These are some of the things you should look for before you ask for advice. If the other person cannot make sound decisions in their life it is highly unlikely that they will be able to provide you with good advice. Also, if they only help people for their own benefit you will want to move on.
4What Do They Say About Others?
Ask yourself in your mind how the person speaks of others and their tone of voice. Do they tend to gossip about others and pride themselves on the misfortunes of others? Or, do they speak well of others and refrain from speaking about matters that are personal? The old adage that actions speak louder than words holds very true in this type of situation. If the person gossips about other people there is no reason why they won’t do the same to you so you should refrain from asking them for advice, especially if it is a personal matter.
5Are They Biased?
Does the person tend to think they have an answer for everything and that their way is the only way? If so, you will not be able to depend upon good sound advice that fits your individual situation. Instead, you will get an opinion that is forced on you and may not be appropriate for helping you solve your specific issue.
6Do a Lot of People Seek Their Advice?
If you see that a lot of people have confided in the person and they don’t go around talking about it to others, it is a pretty good bet that you can trust this person. The chances are they are taking a genuine interest in helping others.
7Are They Knowledgeable About Your Issue?
Ask yourself if you think the person could help you with a specific issue or if they would be indifferent when you ask them for advice. If it is the type of person that tends to be accepting of a lot of different situations, they will most likely be of assistance to you. If they tend not to be knowledgeable about the issue you are having, it is probably best to move on.
8Are They Open-Minded?
Observe the person and how they react to different situations. Do they tend to accept a wide variety of life’s situations or do they tend to be close-minded and intolerant of situations? If they are an open-minded type of person, chances are nothing will surprise them when you ask for advice and they will be accepting. If they are close-minded they will be quick to judge so you should refrain from asking for advice.
9Trust Your Gut Feeling
Your gut feeling is that feeling you get deep in the pit of your stomach when something does not feel right. It provides you with a gauge to rethink situations that are not in your best interest. Sometimes people can fool themselves and deny what they are feeling and then they get into a situation that turns out to be the wrong decision. Trust your gut feeling; it is the best tool for measurement that you have.
10How to Know When You Are Getting Good Advice
Sometimes when we ask for advice we are trying to sort out some of our thoughts and feelings. A person who gives good advice will be unbiased, non-judgmental, and will present you with different scenarios and pros and cons to help you choose for yourself. They will refrain from telling you what to do and allow you to make your own decision while providing their support every step of the way.
