The sorry state of the economy certainly becomes sorrier for you if you are living with an unemployed husband, wife, or partner. For the while that this partner is out of a job, all the financial responsibilities may be yours to bear and this task can be quite challenging and sometimes very frustrating. In the midst of all the unpleasantness, you are still obligated to be helpful and supportive of your partner – you just never know when you’ll need his/her assistance in the future. Your partner needs your input in as far as staying optimistic and motivated is concerned, and indeed to find work. Lots of patience and love are required of you. How do you offer this help and support?
1First Realize That the Situation Will Test Your Relationship’s Strength
As the working partner, your frustrations are understandable and bailing out on your significant other may seem like the right thing to do – it is not. When living with an unemployed partner you should aim to make the experience work for your relationship and not against it. Indeed many relationships have crumbled in these circumstances but on the contrary others have blossomed. Your partner should therefore be assured of your love and appreciation every waking day.
2Appreciate Your Unemployed Partner’s Role in the Household
As you set out for work every day, your partner may sometimes have to remain at home. He/she will responsibly take up most of the chores that were not part of his/her normal to-do list. Appreciate your partner’s effort in getting these things done and let them know how great a help their diligence has been in keeping the home running.
3Aim to Support Rather Than Enable Your Unemployed Partner
During a career search your unemployed partner will gain most from your emotional support as opposed to your enabling effort. Giving emotional support will involve you keeping your partner motivated in his/her job quest. Looking for a job is a full time effort – much like a regular job. As such, you and your partner can stick to a normal day routine of waking up early and getting ready for work – you to work and him/her to a job search. Emotional support may also involve some amount of nagging if the partner’s effort seems to be slacking off. With your continued support, the unemployed partner will be in the right frame of mind to keep on looking for a job so as to take the stress away from you.
Enabling will work in the opposite way. If you refrain from talking about the job search and allow the partner to yield to desperation, both of you will eventually become frustrated. Too much of nagging when the partner is honestly making an effort will be counterproductive as well.
4Encourage Your Partner’s Effort
Inasmuch as you are the employed one, you should never try to act as your partner’s career coach. Your encouraging effort should only go as far as helping the setting of realistic career goals is concerned – not into the actual job search. Both of you have to adjust to the realities of the situation. This may involve a reassignment of the household chores and even a downgrading of lifestyle to keep tabs on expenditures.
In encouraging the unemployed partner, make helpful suggestions for their consideration but never insist on these as being the much sought job solution. Discourage any forms of idleness by suggesting opportunities in project-type jobs or even volunteer work. These can actually lead to a full-time position for your partner. Your encouragement also means that you must exercise lots of patience. Never bring this virtue up or make mention of it during the unemployment spell – your partner will most probably resent you for it once he/she gets a job.
5Get Involved in Your Partner’s Preparation for a Job
As a working partner you should help your husband, wife or significant other, to remain optimally prepared for an expected job opportunity. One of the ways by which to do this is via the internet. There are plenty of freelance job opportunities that your partner can pursue depending on his/her career skills. Look for these and indeed other temporary job opportunities and suggest them to your partner. His/her engagement in such will definitely serve to increase their career knowledge in addition to being an income earning activity.
Getting involved in this way need not be limited to making suggestions only. If your partner finds the suggestions practical he/she will need your effort so as to get started. Just as an example, freelance jobs require some sort of working area even if it is within the home. This ‘office’ requires a computer, internet connection, stationery etc. Your financial input in acquiring these necessary items will certainly be required. Just making suggestions and not helping to actualize them will help solve very little.
