Romance and Dating Tips for the Unemployed

Dating Tips for the Unemployed

By: Pam Grundy

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Recession romance is not only possible; it’s a great way to stay upbeat and optimistic during hard times. Unemployed dating takes a bit of courage and ingenuity, but once you get the hang of it, you may find that it’s a lot easier and more fun than you ever imagined.

In past generations, dating was less about spending money and more about getting to know another person. Unsurprisingly, relationships that started up under those conditions tended to last longer than relationships today. Showing interest in another person above and beyond what that person has to contribute financially is almost universally appreciated. Looking at dating while unemployed as an opportunity instead of a challenge can help you meet someone really special at long last.

Here are some basic dating tips for the unemployed:

Frame Your Situation Positively

The job you used to have isn’t who you are, it’s just a job you used to have. Focus on your hopes and dreams and your direction for the future, not on what you’ve lost. Project a sense of confidence and calm, not fear or shame, and your date will see you in the best possible light. Unemployment is a great time to list your most valuable qualities in or outside of a job, and if you have them clearly in mind your date will see them too.

Focus on Your Date, Not Yourself

Remember, a date is not a counseling session or a chance to unload emotionally; it’s a chance to meet someone new and have a bit of fun while doing it. Ask your date about his or her life. Be interested and attentive. Focus on the other person and try not to make the date into a pity party or a discussion of how awful the job market is. That isn’t going to uplift anyone, and it isn’t why you’re getting together anyway.

Don’t Ask Your Date for Money

Unless the other person suggests that each of you pay your own way to an event, or offers to pay for your portion outright, don’t make an issue of money. If you made the first date, make sure that you can handle any expenses involved. If instead you are dating someone regularly, just explain your finances and come to a mutual agreement to have low cost fun. Never pressure your date for money, and never keep dating anyone who pressures you to spend more than you can afford.

Make Use of Public Parks and Events

Is anything more romantic than a picnic in a public park? Check out art museums, local fairs and festivals, public concerts, tours of historic buildings, and public resources. Hike a local nature preserve and bring wine, bread, and cheese. Use your imagination.

Be a Tourist in Your Own City
Go online and look up your city (or a city nearby) and look at it the way a tourist would. What would a stranger want to see if he or she was visiting the area where you live? Chances are good neither you nor your date has ever checked any of those places out. New Yorkers don’t ride to the top of the Empire State building, tourists do. Check out the sights at home.

Go Grocery Shopping and Cook Together

Pick up groceries, to cook at home, at the most deluxe market in your area and make an event of shopping. Farmer’s markets, whole foods specialty markets, and ethnic grocery stores are fun to visit and browse and often offer samples while you shop. Rent a DVD together at the public library on the way home and pop it in after dinner. Make popcorn with real butter.

Ride Bikes, Walk, and Explore With Public Transportation

If you live in a big city or near a national park, check out the cost of a tour bus, or create your own tour using public transit. Keep the destinations a surprise and make the date into an adventure about town. Take a backpack and pack lots of tasty snacks and drinks.

Volunteer

Barack Obama took the his wife Michelle to a community organization meeting for their first date, and she said she fell in love with him on the spot because of it. If you regularly volunteer for some community organization or function, invite your date to come along and either help or witness what you care about right alongside of you. This gives your date an insight into who you really are, and it shows off your best side amidst people who care about and like you. That can’t be bad.

Use your imagination

Sometimes the things that are the most fun are also the simplest and the least expensive. Teach your date to play chess or video games. Bake bread together and then go for a long walk while it rises and make dinner while it bakes. Play cards. Watch old Marx Brothers movies. Paint a mural on the side of your garage or on a basement wall.

Conclusion

Dating doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. Recession romance can actually be very liberating if you take the time to share who you really are and get to know who the person you are dating really is too. No one wants to feel like they are loved only because of their money or their status, and despite rumors to the contrary, most women are not looking for this anyway. The best relationships are based on shared interests, mutual respect, and genuine friendship. All those things take time and effort, but they don’t necessarily take money.

Women and men both tend to be at their best doing ordinary things they truly enjoy. Show your date a bit of who you really are, unemployed or not, and you just might be astonished at how positive your results can be. We all want to be loved for who we are, not what we have or what we do: Dating while unemployed is your chance to find that kind of deep acceptance, the kind that lasts!

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